Don’t Let Your Job Title Defines You

Few nights ago, we were at our favorite Indian restaurant to celebrate the birthday of wife and our second son.

There was this table next to us. Two men and one lady.

One of the man was particularly loud and a little irritating. I think he was tipsy.

He boasted to the others how much money he make for his boss.

The credit cards he was holding.

And how he conquered the competitors.

I listened to him, and I immediately saw my own reflection.

Once upon a time, I was breaking many sales records, solving problems for others, travelling round the world, pampered by banks, airlines and hotels.

When I was unexpectedly retrenched, I dived straight into depression. Like free-falling from the plane.

It was a scary moment for me, and I assumed, those closed to me as well.

I lost weight. Lost my desire to live. Lost happiness. Lost my smile. Lost my cheerfulness.

Every minute I would be asking God, why me?

I was like the Emperor who has just been dethroned.

I would blame my school grades, I would blame my presentation skills, I would blame my ugly looks. Heck, I even blame my Govt.

Fortunately, I was surrounded by loved ones and they supported me thru my journey in the mental dark tunnel (which I have created for myself).

I got out after many months.

Again, thru good friends, I found a dream job and thrive.

Back to the noisy man on the next table. He was very proud of himself and his achievements.

I hope he knows that one day, should he suddenly lose his job title and benefits, he would be ok.

That he would not let his job equates his self-worth.

I have many friends who have lost their jobs. And some never recovered.

Some left their families.

One died in the gym.

A couple of them color their hair gold and tied pony tails plus tattoo.

Several did not return to work force and let their wives work double jobs to pay for the bills.

I noticed two patterns of people in depression.

1) The person is always depressed and one can tell by the weight loss or balloon, changed in personalities.

2) Always laughing loudly when with people and sank into deep dark clouds when alone.

The first type is easiest to help. Read books, counselling, being with positive friends, seek religions.

The second type is much harder to help because it’s harder to spot. It will take one to recognize one.

In any cases, being around them, loving them, always help.

There are books and YouTube videos on getting out of depressions. Watching all these helps.

Take a look around you. Pay attention to others. Pay attention to yourself too, for you may not know when you are sinking unless you have friends who can be your mirrors.

Happiness is a choice.

I have been retrenched. My business had gone bankrupt. So what ! I am retired today.

How did I do that ?

Choose happiness, sunshine, gratitude, teachers and love.

A better life only happened when you change your ways.

If you do the same thing everyday and resist changes, life can only remain the same, or got worse.

Love,

Investor, Practitioner & Full-Time Coach